Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 

Where will you live in later life? When someone leaves a job after decades of work, they are technically free to live anywhere. Assuming they have the financial resources to make a move, this begs the question made famous by the British rock band, The Clash: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 

Some people will ask themselves this question several times throughout their remaining lifetime. For example, they might consider a move to a 55+ community in a warmer climate in their 50s or 60s and later move to assisted living, a CCRC, or near an adult child, in their 70s, 80s, or 90s.

Below are six things to consider about uprooting yourself to live elsewhere:

 

Weigh the Pros and Cons- Make an old-school matrix with four squares: pros and cons of staying and pros and cons of moving. Think taxes, weather, and proximity to a support system. In addition. read articles about “Best Places to Retire” but note that each source defines “best” differently, so pay attention to the metrics that they use. Financially speaking, how well people live in retirement depends on their income and the local cost of living.

Do Pre-Move Research- Visit potential relocation sites during different seasons and follow their local news online via newspaper websites and social media. Consider factors including affordability, amenities, health care quality, safety, weather, potential for natural disasters (e.g., wildfires and hurricanes), and culture (both the arts/entertainment kind and politics).

Consider Family Implications- Think downstream about implications of long-distance moving. You are, de facto, requiring your children/family to spend their money and vacation time to travel for visits (or they will make few visits if they cannot afford it). Also, the potential for long-distance caregiving in 20 to 30 years, or the possibly of moving you back into their home when you become frail. Most families never discuss these issues at the time of a parent’s move.

Consider Family Expectations- Define expectations of “togetherness” if you move to live near a child and the role you will play in the lives of children and grandchildren (e.g., frequency of visits and boundaries for caregiving). You want to have an honest conversation because a lot is riding on what is said. Also, consider what to do if a child that you follow has to move. Do you want to become a “trailing parent?”

Build Strong Relationships- Invest the time required to build social capital with family and friends. Aging is difficult without people to help with life’s inevitable challenges and research suggests “you can’t go back home again” without strong family relationships. The strength of family ties with children determines whether a return move is considered. Budget for routine trips back home to reconnect with loved ones.

Weigh the Trade-Offs- Consider advantages of staying put including familiarity (e.g., friends, family, doctors, churches, and community groups), no need to downsize (at least not yet!), and pride of ownership for an existing home. Conversely, moving also has advantages including a fresh start, a community of peers and organized social activities (e.g., at age 55+ communities), cost savings (e.g., moving to a state with lower living costs and/or no income taxes), and better weather.

This post provides general personal finance or consumer decision-making information and does not address all the variables that apply to an individual’s unique situation. It does not endorse specific products or services and should not be construed as legal or financial advice. If professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.