Being the author of a book about transitions in later life, I am always on the lookout for new information about this topic. I recently attended a face-to-face class called Retirement-Now What? that focused on the same transitions I wrote about.
The class started
with two questions for each participant: are you retired? and are you happy?
When it was my turn to respond, I reiterated a long-standing description of my
current status: “No, I am not retired. I am a full-time financial education
entrepreneur.” I also stated I was happy because I love my work, my short (3
second) commute, my new house in Florida, and the flexibility I have to take
time off to have lunch with neighbors, play bocce, or enjoy other pursuits.
Unfortunately, not
all participants felt the same way. A 74-year-old man stated he was unhappy
with his life, three recent moves, a spouse that “doesn’t want to do anything,”
and his wife’s dog that keeps him tied to his house. He also noted that he
missed the creativity and connections that he received from his previous job.
A former nurse
(for 42 years) stated that she was “bored out of her mind” and “borderline
depressed.” She missed her career and the sense that she was helping others.
Another participant had a husband with dementia and was angry that she was
forced to retire before she planned. Someone else noted that her husband died
in an unhappy state shortly after retiring: “he never developed a sense of
himself and golf got boring.”
As each
participant shared their story, the 84-year-old instructor shared tips from
psychological research (she was a former psychology professor!) and her own
lived experience. Her basic message was that retirement is a process and that
people’s lives will change many times throughout later life. Below are eight
take-aways from the class discussion:
¨
Retirement Can be Stressful- Program
participants noted financial and social/emotional challenges. According to the
widely used Social Readjustment Rating Scale (a.k.a., Holmes
and Rahe Stress Scale), retirement is #10 on a list of 43 stressful life events
including death of a spouse (#1), divorce (#2), marriage (#7), and being fired
at work (#8).
¨
There Are Many Changes- Participants
mentioned living on a reduced income, changes in social interactions, time use
challenges (i.e., having nowhere to go), no boss telling them what to do, casual
wardrobe changes, and the realization that they are in the last part of their
life and may be buying things (e.g., a car or appliance) for the last time.
¨ Identity Loss is
Common-
When people exit the workforce, they are no longer whatever career role they
were before and can lose their sense of identity. It is important to replace
things that are lost such as new friends and activities (especially in a new
location) and new outlets for creativity and service (e.g., freelance work and
volunteerism).
¨ Retirement is a
State of Mind-
Retirement is the beginning of a new chapter of life- not the end of it. A key
to success is deciding how to approach it and what to do with big chunks of
free time that become available. Many retirees want to feel productive, useful,
and of value/service to others, so finding ways to make contributions is an
important task in later life. As people change over time (e.g., 60s to 80s),
people around them can change also.
¨ Time Use Planning
is Essential-
People need structure. The program facilitator suggested organizing time into
chunks (e.g., meals, reading, exercise) to avoid feeling totally “adrift.” Time-shift
daily activities as needed according to weather conditions (e.g., cold winters
and hot summers), medical appointments, and other scheduling needs.
¨ Experimentation is
OK-
Try new things and see what sticks. Continue activities you like and drop those
that you don’t. Unlike workplace situations, there is no pressure in retirement
to do things perfectly and not make mistakes. The stress that many people feel
in retirement is stress that they, themselves, create.
¨ The Past is in the
Past-
Nobody cares (much) about what retirees used to do. This is a difficult
transition for many people and contributes to feelings of isolation,
uselessness, and “being put out to pasture.” Some of the happiest retirees
practice “identity bridging” and find ways to carry over parts of their
pre-retirement life into their later years.
¨ Key Questions to
Ask-
The presenter suggested answering the following questions when deciding how to
create your life in retirement: Did (Do) I really want to retire? How do I feel
about it deep inside? Who wanted to retire: me or someone else (e.g., a spouse)?
How do I see myself right now? How do I imagine my new life? What are my
talents? What do I like to do? What did I want to do at 30 and never got around
to? and What dreams did I not follow?
This post provides
general personal finance or consumer decision-making information and does not
address all the variables that apply to an individual’s unique situation. It does
not endorse specific products or services and should not be construed as legal
or financial advice. If professional assistance is required, the services of a
competent professional should be sought.
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